Congratulations! You're the song HermAphrodite! Your girlfriend has a penis, she watches football...And the Lifetime channel...And you're kind of upset that her package is bigger than yours.
I wanted to do "Craig Christ" on Carson Daly and sent in the lyrics for approval. They sent someone into my dressing room a few minutes before showtime to tell me everything was cool, they were looking forward to the performance, they love the song, and by the way, you can't say "****ing Craig", "Jesus", or "Christ" in the song.
Have a good show!
I did "Ugly Baby" that night.
Another time, when I did "She gotta smile" they strongly urged me to change "big fat friend" to "big ol' friend". Hilarious. Also on my Comedy Central special, I changed "Special Ed" to "Special Fred" which most of you are already aware of, but they wanted me to change a lyric in "Lullaby" from "Daddy wants sex that involves Mommy's rear" to "Daddy wants sex that involves Mommy's ear". I don't know about you, but to me, earsex seems to be the more deviant of the two. Believe me. I've tried it. It's why I'm partially deaf. Goodbye.